From Here to Maternity by Kris Webb & Kathy Wilson

Author:Kris Webb & Kathy Wilson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466872523
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

FIFTEEN

Debbie had insisted that I go to the meeting with David Fletcher. She had justified this at great length on the basis that (in her words) my skills of tact and persuasion would be much more use than her rather blunter approach, given that we had to convince David to make a strong commitment on the basis of a mocked-up baby book and some pretty vague prices. However, I had my suspicions that her reluctance to go had more to do with the fact that David had rejected her advances, a situation Debbie was very unaccustomed to dealing with.

If I was going to attend my first business meeting post-baby, I was determined to at least look the part. So the day before, I showed up at my hairdresser, hoping a cut would restore the damage done by motherhood. You’ll notice I say ‘cut’ and not ‘trim’, having once been chastised by a hairdresser who was hurt by my having called his masterly re-creation of my existing style a trim.

Real estate agents say that the three most important factors for property investment are location, location and location. I believe that this is equally true for hairdressing salons. I am constantly amazed that hairdressers set up their flashy salons on busy streets with huge plate-glass windows which allow everyone to see exactly what is going on inside. When I am sitting in the chair, half my hair wrapped in aluminium foil and the rest of it plastered to my scalp, I do not want anyone I know to peer in the window and wave at me.

My theory is that all hairdressers are privy to a closely guarded secret imparted to them when they finish their apprenticeship, regardless of whether they work in a cut-price joint in suburbia or a swanky establishment in the middle of town. That secret is that they must make their clients look as ugly as possible before they start to cut their hair. And so they dress you in a big black waterproof smock, wash your hair (ensuring that any makeup runs in the process), wrap your hair in a bottle-green towel and then put you in front of a huge mirror under fluorescent lights that turn any facial blemish a bright red.

By the time they ask, ‘Well, what would you like us to do today?’, I’m always so demoralised that I’ll agree to anything they suggest. I also feel like a catwalk model if the hairdresser manages to get the haircut even half right.

Despite years of negotiating with difficult clients, I’m still unable to tell a hairdresser that I don’t like something they’ve done, or that I’d like them to do something they obviously don’t approve of.

I’d had my hair in a bob of varying lengths for about ten years (except for the tragic perm episode, which I’m still not able to speak about). About five years ago I took the brave decision to have it cut really short. Perry, the hairdresser, looked at my obligatory photo

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